This is a great article by Beverly Engel about shame. She provides a great description of shame and how it can develop from our childhood experiences. As children we were vulnerable to the experiences of powerlessness and helplessness. Usually these experiences were tied to shame teaching us to learn ways to defend ourselves from ever having to experience shame again. These learned behaviours may have helped us as children to survive but in adulthood they affect our relationships to others and ourselves. Shame and the associated core beliefs of not being lovable, being bad, and not deserving of love are one of the driving forces in addiction and many other mental illnesses. Fortunately there is a way to mitigate the effects of shame in our lives and therapy can provide a space where compassion and care can be learned.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-compassion-chronicles/201307/how-compassion-can-heal-shame-childhood

This is a great short video on helping kids (or adults) deal with their emotions. In the midst of our emotions of fear, hurt, or shame we can react with feelings of anger. Breathing allows our thinking brain to catch up to our emotional brain and to self-soothe these emotional states.

http://amysmartgirls.com/short-film-just-breathe-helps-kids-deal-with-emotions/

A funny animated short by Brene Brown on Blame.

http://vimeo.com/117375823

This youtube video is a great summary of the science behind pornography addiction. The neural pathways for reward can become hijacked by the repetitive use of pornography leading to a state where the person loses control and cannot stop despite the consequences and losses in life. If you would like to talk about this more or are concerned that there maybe a problem, please do not hesitate to call or contact me.

The Science of Pornography Addiction - http://youtu.be/1Ya67aLaaCc

The Serenity Prayer is frequently used in 12 Step addiction recovery groups for good reason.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control.

The courage to change the things I can and

The wisdom to know the difference.

Many times when addictions are involved, the focus becomes what the addict ought to do. Loved one's are legitimately concerned for the well being of the addict as their behaviours can progressively endanger their careers, relationships, and health.

What the Serenity Prayer does is reminds us of what we can or cannot control in our lives and to seek out wisdom to differentiate the elements in our lives that can be controlled. Telling or commanding someone to do something is like pushing a rope. Its gets frustrating because human choice is like that rope which is not designed to be told what to do. Maybe the question is not what the addict ought to do but what am I doing to enable the addict to continue using their drug of choice or addictive behaviour? Do I try to protect the addict from the natural consequences of the their addictive behaviour? Do I try to manage and take responsibility for the addict's emotions? Do I provide financial support for the addict to continue their addictive behaviours? The focus on many of these questions are not about the addict, rather they are about my own personal choices and responses to the addict's behaviour. The elements that can be changed are our personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings, choices, and responses.

There can be a great deal of fear of having to accept the things that cannot be changed but courage can be found as we begin to recognize the boundaries and limits of our abilities and to act within those abilities in spite of our fears.

Various Drug and Alcohol Recovery Groups

Alcoholics Anonymous

http://www.aa.org/

https://area78.org/ - AA in Alberta and Northwest Territories

Narcotics Anonymous

http://www.na.org/

http://www.canaacna.org/area_meetings.php?id=99 - NA meetings in Central Alberta

Gamblers Anonymous

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/

Recovery Groups for Family Members Affected by Drug and Alcohol Addiction

Al-Anon

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Nar-Anon

http://www.nar-anon.org/

Gam-Anon

http://www.gam-anon.org/

This is a great reminder by Dr. Charlie Whelton, psychiatrist at Edgewood Addictions Treatment Center, how we can easily overstep the boundaries of responsibility and take over another person's responsibility to change their lives.

http://www.edgewood.ca/index.php?page=31&p=1536

Interesting article on the role of fear in the addiction cycle.

http://connexionsclassroom.com/connexions-classroom-blog/2014/08/the-vicious-cycle-of-fear/

An online Sexual Addiction Screening Test which is free.

https://www.recoveryzone.com/tests/sex-addiction/SAST/index.php

There are additional resources found at

http://www.recoveryzone.com

My presentation from my Addictions class.

http://prezi.com/bttog1cxjol-/?utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=copy